It’s a mother of a double feature and we guarantee it won’t make you feel all warm and snuggly inside. No, not at all. Alex Ford and Maria Rose narrate. Rated Dark.


Author Sheliah Lindsey was neither born nor raised under a rock, but does claim she was as an excuse for how behind she is on popular culture. She currently resides in Texas, still not under a rock despite her continued insistence to the contrary, where she divides her time unevenly between reading, writing, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

When narrator Alex Ford isn’t rocking around the nation in her band, Ford Theatre Reunion, she’s holed up in her guest room following a different passion: recording audio books and editing manuscripts. An avid reader and writer, she delights in helping people bring their creativity to life. You can check out her exploits, mystery bruises, and a most handsome cat on facebook or instagram.

Author Maria Haskins is a Swedish-Canadian writer and translator. She writes speculative fiction and poetry, and currently lives just outside Vancouver with a husband, two kids, and a very large black dog.  Her work has appeared in Flash Fiction Online, Shimmer, Cast of Wonders, and elsewhere. Find out more on her website,, or follow her on Twitter, @mariahaskins.

Narrator Maria Rose is a graphic designer, writer, astrologer, classicist. Sometimes saturnine, mostly eccentric. You can hear her audiobook narration work in “Messengers of the Right” from University of Press Audiobooks or at GlitterShip. Learn more at

Music & Sound:

Circus Clowns by Zev Weinstein/Pond5

Ticking clock sound effect by Kevin Frost

Alchemist’s Lab by Tabletop Audio

Mystic Force Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Giant Wyrm Kevin MacLeod (
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License

Wish you could have heard these, Mom